A Little Talk About Mobs

O Henry

"I see," remarked the tall gentleman in the frock coat and black slouch hat, "that another

street car motorman in your city has narrowly excaped lynching at the hands of an

infuriated mob by lighting a cigar and walking a couple of blocks down the street."

"Do you think they would have lynched him?" asked the New Yorker, in the next seat of

the ferry station, who was also waiting for the boat.

"Not until after the election," said the tall man, cutting a corner off his plug of tobacco.

"I've been in your city long enough to know something about your mobs. The

motorman's mob is about the least dangerous of them all, except the National Guard and

a ripping sound, and a piercing shriek, and Willie is sitting, with part of his trousers torn

away by the fender, screaming for his lost nickel.

"In ten seconds the car is surrounded by 600 infuriated citizens, crying, 'Lynch the

motorman! Lynch the motorman!' at the top of their voices. Some of them run to the

nearest cigar store to get a rope; but they find the last one has just been cut up and

labelled. Hundreds of the excited mob press close to the cowering motorman, whose

hand is observed to tremble perceptibly as he transfers a stick of pepsin gum from his

pocket to his mouth.

"When the bloodthirsty mob of maddened citizens has closed in on the motorman, some

bringing camp stools and sitting quite close to him, and all shouting, 'Lynch him!'

would boost me some down at the station.'

"'All right, Mike,' says the motorman, 'anything to oblige. I'll turn pale and tremble.'

"And he does so; and Policeman Fogarty draws his club and says, 'G'wan wid yez!' and

in eight seconds the desperate mob has scattered and gone about its business, except

about a hundred who remain to search for Willie's nickel."

"I never heard of a mob in our city doing violence to a motorman because of an

accident," said the New Yorker.

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"You are not liable to," said the tall man. "They know the motorman's all right, and that

he wouldn't even run over a stray dog if he could help it. And they know that not a man

among 'em would tie the knot to hang even a Thomas cat that had been tried and

condemned and sentenced according to law."

"Then why do they become infuriated and make threats of lynching?" asked the New

Yorker.

"To assure the motorman," answered the tall man, "that he is safe. If they really wanted

corner, with my watch chain showing. When you get rounded up in a bunch you lose

your nerve. Get you in crowds and you're easy. Ask the 'L' road guards and George B.

Cortelyou and the tintype booths at Coney Island. Divided you stand, united you fall. E

pluribus nihil. Whenever one of your mobs surrounds a man and begins to holler,

"Lynch him!' he says to himself, "Oh, dear, I suppose I must look pale to please the

boys, but I will, forsooth, let my life insurance premium lapse to-morrow. This is a sure

tip for me to play Methuselah straight across the board in the next handicap.'

"I can imagine the tortured feelings of a prisoner in the hands of New York policemen

when an infuriated mob demands that he be turned over to them for lynching. "For

God's sake, officers,' cries the distracted wretch, 'have ye hearts of stone, that ye will not

Yorker, with a faint note of civic pride.

"I'll admit that," said the tall man. "A cousin of mine who was on a visit here once had

an arm broken and lost an ear in one of them."

"That must have been during the Cooper Union riots," remarked the New Yorker.

"Not the Cooper Union," explained the tall man--"but it was a union riot--at the

Vanastor wedding."

"You seem to be in favor of lynch law," said the New Yorker, severely.

"No, sir, I am not. No intelligent man is. But, sir, there are certain cases when people

rise in their just majesty and take a righteous vengeance for crimes that the law is slow

in punishing. I am an advocate of law and order, but I will say to you that less than six

"It is a deplorable condition," said the New Yorker, "that exists in the South, but--"

"I am from Indiana, sir," said the tall man, taking another chew; "and I don't think you

$9.60 in cash, sir, from my own brother."