one merely comes to meet one's friends, and shew that one's alive."
"Ha, ha, ha!-and so," cried the Captain, "it costs you five shillings
a-night just to shew you're alive! Well, faith, my friends should
all think me dead and underground before I'd be at that expense for
'em. Howsomever-this here you may take from me-they'll find you out
fast enough if you have anything to give 'em.-And so you've been here
all this time, and don't know what the play was?"
"Why, really Sir, a play requires so much attention,-it is scarce
possible to keep awake if one listens;-for, indeed, by the time it
is evening, one has been so fatigued with dining,-or wine,-or the
house,-or studying,-that it is-it is perfectly an impossibility. But,
now I think of it, I believe I have a bill in my pocket; O, ay,
here it is-Love for Love, ay,-true, ha, ha!-how could I be so stupid!"
"O, easily enough, as to that, I warrant you," said the Captain;
"but, by my soul, this is one of the best jokes I ever heard!-Come
to a play, and not know what it is!-Why, I suppose you wouldn't have
found it out, if they had fob'd you off with a scraping of fiddlers,
or an opera?-Ha, ha, ha!-Why, now, I should have thought you might
have taken some notice of one Mr. Tattle, that is in this play!"
This sarcasm, which caused a general smile, made him colour: but,
turning to the Captain with a look of conceit, which implied that he
had a retort ready, he said, "Pray, Sir, give me leave to ask-What
do you think of one Mr. Ben, who is also in this play?"
The Captain, regarding him with the utmost contempt, answered in a loud
voice, "Think of him!-why, I think he is a man!" And then, staring
full in his face, he struck his cane on the ground with a violence
that made him start. He did not however, choose to take any notice
of this: but, having bit his nails some time in manifest confusion,
he turned very quick to me, and in a sneering tone of voice, said,
"For my part, I was most struck with the country young lady, Miss Prue;
pray what do you think of her, Ma'am?"
"Indeed, Sir," cried I, very much provoked, "I think-that is, I do
not think any thing about her."
"Well, really, Ma'am, you prodigiously surprise me!-mais, apparemment
ce n'est qu'une facon de parler? -though I should beg your pardon,
for probably you do not understand French?"
I made no answer, for I thought his rudeness intolerable; but Sir
Clement, with great warmth, said, "I am surprised that you can suppose
such an object as Miss Prue would engage the attention of Miss Anville
even for a moment."
"O, Sir," returned this fop, "'tis the first character in the piece!-so
well drawn!-so much the thing!-such true country breeding-such rural
ignorance! ha, ha, ha!-'tis most admirably hit off, 'pon honour!"
I could almost have cried, that such impertinence should be leveled
at me; and yet, chagrined as I was, I could never behold Lord Orville
and this man at the same time, and feel any regret for the cause I
had given of displeasure.
"The only female in the play," said Lord Orville, "worthy of being